Music Video Pitch Feedback

My presentation feedback:
My overall presentation seemed okay; I tried to interact with everyone more than just reading from the board because if I chose to just read from the board my presentation could get marked down because of lack of communication skills with the audience. However after looking back at my presentation I feel like I did not conduct myself in the appropriate way; I came across as very jokey (unprofessional) which is the incorrect way I should conduct myself to the audience.
Overall my presentation seemed okay you could clearly see the text which is the main aspect for the audience to see clearly and be able to listen to what I am saying but also to be able to read the text from the board.
I also contained lots of images within my presentation to make it seem catchier rather than boring with just text however the purpose of lots of pictures worked but I still had a lot of text overall making my presentation seem long and boring. I believe because my presentation contained a lot of writing it made my audience bored which lead me talking for 20mins.
So overall I feel my presentation went well, I did not miss out any points or information that needed to be provided.
Feedback:
My target audience mainly said positive things towards my presentation skills and my overall use of examples and text, saying that I covered all the main points that needed to be explained. They said they liked the way every time I would talk about one of my idea’s I would back it up with either a picture to set image in the viewer’s mind or show a YouTube clip making my audience understand where I’m going with my idea’s. I also got good feedback about my music video idea saying that the whole concept seems very visual and shows that I know exactly what I want to do making my video presentation seem more convincing. The last bit of feedback I received from my audience was that it seems like I have a lot of different and creative idea’s but it is not clear where they would be. This was negative because it made me look unorganised.
Area's I would have liked to of given in more detail:
Looking back at my music video presentation I would have liked to give more detail in the actual storyline and how the scenes would have set the mood and tone of the different shots. I could have done this through explaining each scene and clarifying what will happen in each scene and why it will happen. I would have also liked to been able to explain more about the argument scene and how it will tie in with the whole video because I don’t think the audience understood it completely. If I could change anything to make my presentation better I would have taking out a lot of the texts and just made it look more presentable rather than essay type with loads of writing.
Audience identified as strength:
The audience identified as my main strength that my overall presentation was very detail and that I mostly related my idea's to links of videos so the audience could understand what I was talking about.
Areas for improvement: My main area for improvement that I picked up from my audiences feedback was although I knew were all my ideas were going they could not understand which leads to it being practical. The overall area for improvement was me giving all my idea's making the video seem like it would go from idea to idea without flowing.
Changes that I will make: my overall changes that I would make after listening to my feedback is to make sure if I use all my idea's that they can't just be placed anywhere in the video, so I need to think long and hard about combining my idea's together unless I scrap some of my idea's.